Bad behavior is usually the manifestation of an unmet need. In other words, my son is acting out to try to tell me something; he just isn’t doing it in a functional way. He’s not trying to be disrespectful. He thinks he should be able to do what I’m asking. He wants to try. But the overwhelming endpoint of this project is so dauntingly complex for his brain, that first step is baffling to him. Once I realized the defiance was a cry for help, I could meet it with compassion, just like I did when my kids were babies. My child needed me. I’d pause, put on my Sherlock Holmes cap and try to uncover what was underneath the opposition. Then try to help solve the problem. I stopped asking my children to speak Chinese. It’s amazing how much better we collaborate when we speak the same language.
https://www.additude.com/download/raising-a-child-with-adhd/?src=embed_link
